Here’s Why I’ve Learned To Opt for Guilt Over Resentment
People pleasing leads to simmering anger
People pleasing is a difficult habit to break. Many of us who are habitual people pleasers have become so due to events in our upbringing. Being a people pleaser makes it extremely difficult to say “no” to others, even if it means we do something to our detriment.
We can’t win.
If we dare to say “no” to someone, we endure the discomfort of guilt. Yet the continuation of saying “yes” and twisting ourselves into pretzels for others, builds resentment.
We feel guilty for saying “no.” We perceive ourselves as bad and wrong for failing to put other people’s needs before our own. But by continually saying “yes” to others, we sacrifice ourselves and can end up feeling taken advantage of, which leads to complex emotions of bitterness and resentment.
Resentment arises when we feel wronged or mistreated. Guilt occurs if we feel we have done something wrong.
Making friends with guilt
In the last few years, I’ve learned to make friends with guilt. It took me …