Taylor Swift Is Being Given the Jennifer Aniston Treatment

A woman's marital and reproductive status do not dictate whether she is a good role model

Looking Glass Films, CC BY 3.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0>, via Wikimedia Commons

Taylor Swift upsets all the right people.

Including a man who wrote an article published in Newsweek that argues an incredibly misogynistic and archaic point:

Taylor Swift is a poor role model to little girls because she is unmarried and does not have children.

The writer of the offending piece, John Mac Ghlionn, claims to have a “keen interest in social dysfunction and media manipulation,” and yet he turns to the media to try to manipulate women to marry and have children; surely the irony is not lost on him?

Surely, he’s got to recognise that he is a purveyor of social dysfunction.

All I can think is that it’s happening again. They are coming for Taylor Swift, like they came for Jennifer Aniston.

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For decades, Aniston endured intrusive questions and speculation about pregnancy. Eventually, in 2022, she shared her devastating pain at being unable to have children.

Taylor Swift might be trying for a baby. She may be unable to have children. She may have experienced the trauma of miscarriage. Or, she may not want children.

We don’t know, but we don’t need to know. It is none of our business. Whether she’s married or a mother is irrelevant to her value as a singer-songwriter or as a person.

Have we not learnt our lesson?

Taylor teaches little girls to follow their hearts

Contrary to that diatribe of nonsensical words, Taylor's marital status and lack of children are among the many reasons she is such a powerful role model to young girls.

Marriage and having children are neither accessible nor desirable to everyone.

I wish, as a little girl, I had more role models of unmarried women without children. I married later in life and have never once yearned for children. I’ve often felt like an anomaly, and like I’m somehow living life all wrong.

But the truth is, I am not an anomaly. It’s just people like Mac Ghlionn who try to make us feel like we are, a tactic used to coerce women into doing what they are supposed to do.

A rising number of women are choosing to remain unmarried and without children; according to this study, they are the happiest demographic.

Forty-eight percent of young adults in America either don’t want children or are unsure. This figure doesn’t account for those who want but can’t have them.

So, for little girls, seeing a successful woman living life on her terms and not following the rules is arguably a necessary and beneficial inspiration.

Our success has nothing to do with our relationship or reproductive status. In fact, marriage may hinder our success. That fact alone is one of the most important lessons for little girls.

Let’s teach little girls that marriage and children are not guaranteed, and if they don’t want these things, that’s perfectly normal and okay, too.

A woman is more than her relationships with men

In that article, Mac Ghlionn closes with what he thinks is a powerful punch.

“What young girls truly need, perhaps without fully recognizing it, are role models who provide both authenticity and actual depth, rather than artificial narratives and superficial glamor.”

While I don’t disagree with this sentiment based on its face value, the context and insinuation of his words are deeply problematic.

He’s conflating marriage and motherhood with authenticity and depth and being unmarried and without children with artificial narratives and superficial glamour.

These tropes are old and boring. They reek of the reductive and inaccurate archetypes in media where mothers are depicted as loving and selfless and non-mothers as cold, callous and monstrous — the Cruella de Vils of this world.

Incidentally, Mother Theresa had no children, whereas Kim Kardashian, who built her wealth on artificial narrative and superficial glamour, has four.

I’m bored of hearing men talk about a woman’s necessity for marriage and children for her to be considered “wholesome” (yes, Mac Ghlionn actually used that word).

Fuck your “wholesome” Mac Ghlionn.

Women are leading countries, businesses, and cutting-edge technological advancements. Women are going to space, competing in the Olympics, and saving lives on the front line in the emergency services.

And still, still, we hear reductive comments whispered around us that a woman is unaccomplished if she hasn’t married or had children.

When Arlene Foster became the first minister of Northern Ireland back in 2016, Edwin Pootes, a member of her party, said that her “primary role” was that of “wife, mother, and daughter.”

I wonder how many men, who go on to lead their country, are told that their primary role remains that of husband, father, and son.

This sentiment is echoed in Mac Ghlionn’s piece on Taylor Swift, where he says, “We must ask if her personal life choices are ones we want our sisters and daughters to emulate.”

The men owning women sentiments of this make me shudder.

I can’t help but feel Mac Ghlionn’s words sound like a call to arms for men to sort out their women. For the avoidance of any doubt. I don’t give a giraffe’s neck how my father and brother want me to live my life.

This has remnants of Harrison Bukter’s infamous speech, in which he refers to Taylor Swift not by name or accomplishments but by who she is in relation to a man.

Flip the script; it sounds ludicrous, right?

If Taylor were a man, would Mac Ghlionn still insist on marriage and children as a prerequisite for being a viable role model?

Put it this way: he’s not written about Harry Styles not being a good role model.

There are echoes of this in the sexist dialogue Jennifer Aniston endured.

During the years of media frenzy over Jennifer’s womb, interviewers didn’t think to pose such questions to her male co-star, the late Matthew Perry.

Matthew, who also didn’t have children, was not interrogated about his virility. No, he was asked about his career and his political opinions and given space to open up about his trauma and addiction.

Matthew’s existence and validity as a person was complete with just him. As a man, he was not viewed as less-than or inadequate for not being married or a father. And yet, marriage and children are what Matthew wanted.

I still can’t imagine the sting and trauma Jennifer endured.

While she was navigating life in the trenches of infertility, the media bombarded her with baby questions. Are you pregnant? When are you going to have a baby? Why not yet? Hurry up!

Why are women’s wombs up for public scrutiny? It’s 2024, not 1950, can we change the record?

How about we make a deal and not judge women based on a flimsy marriage certificate and successful copulation?

If Taylor wants marriage and children, I truly hope they are part of her future.

But somehow, I suspect that wouldn’t stop the salivating John Mac Ghlionn’s of this world. Nope, they would raise their pitchforks and charge forward if she dared to go on tour and leave her husband and baby behind.

Taylor can’t win. Women can’t win.

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There’s wide speculation that Mac Ghlionn is in his 40s and unmarried without children. If this is true, what sheer audacious hypocrisy.

Mr Double-Standard’s bio says he covers “pressing cultural issues.” More like he perpetuates sexist cultural issues.

Now, here’s the important part.

Get married if you want to. Don’t if you don’t want to.

If you do marry, I hope it’s for love.

Have children if you want to. Don’t if you don’t want to.

And if you want children but can’t have them, please look after yourself, as I know how invalidating and painful Mac Ghlionn’s words might be for you.

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Thanks for reading. This piece was originally published on Medium.

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You can also find my writings and musings on Medium, where I write about kindness, psychology, social injustice, the nuances of living childfree, friendship, social justice, feminism, personal growth, and much more.