The Song That Brought My Dying Dog Comfort
Music carries us on the thermals of life
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I didn’t know his days were numbered.
Although, given the circumstances, I guess it was pretty obvious. But denial works in mysterious ways.
It’s been over a year and still I’m not ready to talk about the trauma of Zac’s last few days in the physical world. But what I can tell you is that my husband and I did all we could to make him comfortable.
We provided him with around-the-clock care, and he was in and out of the emergency vet.
If we had our time again, there are several things we would do differently to alleviate my poor boy's suffering. But here we are, and hindsight is a wonderful thing.
I’m just grateful to this song for easing his distress.
Hearing any animal in pain, or discomfort penetrates my soul. There’s a reason why I’m vegan. So, hearing my 13-year-old dog emitting such noises brought me full-body anguish.
As well as him being maxed out on painkillers, I did everything in my power to soothe my boy. From cold presses on his head to cradling him. These worked to an extent, but it was music that brought him the greatest comfort.
Specifically, one song in particular seemed to connect to his senses and visibly helped his spasming body relax.
Om Ganesha by Sam Garrett and Mollie Mendoza.
Ganesha is a Hindu deity depicted by an elephant head, four arms and a human body. Lord Ganesha represents the remover of obstacles and the bringer of good luck.
Maybe the song comforted me, and Zac’s relaxation was more a sign of him responding to my energy. Either way, I owe this song deep gratitude.
Yes, I associate two of the worst days of my life with this song. But I also attribute positivity and happiness to it. It gave me a sense of peace and serenity during a time of turmoil. It calmed the franticness of our souls and helped us surrender to the natural flow of life.
I am grateful to this song for comforting my boy in his final days and giving me the tools to provide loving kindness to him, my husband and myself.
Zac and I sat together, allowing the vibrations of this special mantra chant infiltrate our souls. I had only recently encountered this mantra and didn’t know its meaning.
The mantra reads:
“Om Gam Ganapataye Namaha
Ganesha Sharanam
Om Ganesha Om Ganapathi.”
Reading its meaning now, it seems more fitting than ever. According to the associated notes of the YouTube video, the mantra means,
“I bow to you, I offer my salutations to you. Remove from me these fears and attachments to worldly things. I take refuge in that which is beyond boundaries and beyond form. I am that.”
Doesn’t that sound like a preparation for death? Doesn’t that sound like an invite, a readiness and an acceptance for death?
Did Om Ganesha escort my boy over the rainbow?
I’m not religious, but I do consider myself spiritual. Did Om Ganesha help remove the obstacles of suffering? Did Om Ganesha help guide my boy away from the physical world?
Music is evocative and emotive. I strongly believe the soothing powers of Om Ganesha helped me find strength and acceptance in tragedy.
Grief is not mutually exclusive from happiness and positivity.
Death is inevitable, and while we don’t wish for it, we can find ways of inviting it in and even being grateful to it for bringing an end to suffering.
I believe a healing part of the grief journey is through replaying old memories and laughing and crying in celebration of a life that once was. A life that we had the privilege of being part of.
And now, when I listen to Om Ganesha I feel the love for my late Zac lying dormant and aching in my heart. I writhe in sorrow that he’s passed while glowing with joy that he ever was.
I feel the warmth of his snuggles, the privilege of his trust, the connection of our eye contact and the lightness of his goofiness all wrapped up in a musical parcel in this one simple song.
Om Ganesha shows me that both the sun and the moon are essential for our existence. There is no love without pain, nor is there laughter without sorrow. Without death, there would be no life.
So, while tears may stream down my face each time I listen to Om Ganesha, they aren’t necessarily tears of sadness.
They are tears of deep emotion.
Tears of recognition that I had the fortune of such a companion, and tears of self-compassion that I can give my emotions the grace to emerge in any way that feels right.
Om Ganesha has helped me honour and celebrate my late boy.
I’d love to know if there’s a particular song that you hold dear?
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You may also enjoy my other Substack Life Without Children, a place for readers and writers of life without children, whether by choice or circumstance.
You can also find my writings and musings on Medium, where I write about well-being, feminism & personal growth. I also own the publication Life Without Children.
There are still things I can't bear to speak of or even think of regarding my dog's passing and next month marks the ten year anniversary. So it's been a long time and it still hurts so much. But one thing I remember is that on his last night (which I didn't know was his last), I gave him a bath because he had lost control of his bowels, and I sang to him the whole time. Silent Night. I don't know why - it was April, not December. But that's the song that wanted to be sung. And he was gone by morning. Still breaks my heart to hear that song.
What a beautiful piece, Ali. Their love’s the best love 🐶❤️✨