Turn Yourself Inside Out and Feel the Warmth From the World
You don't need to hide your inner self, come out and introduce yourself
I spent most of my life protecting my inner self, concealing her from the public eye. I was ashamed of my sensitivity. I put on a front to appear “cool” and become popular. I adopted this role for so long that I lost touch with who I really was.
The reality is I’m just a simple creature who believes in kindness.
My own past behaviour makes me wonder how many of us are hiding, too afraid to show our authentic selves. Fearful that if the world sees us for who we really are, we will be rejected, laughed at, and ostracised. So instead, we try and be like everyone else.
But betraying ourselves and being like everyone else is suffocating and a desperate form of self-sabotage.
Slowly but surely, I’ve come back to myself. Like the watering of a dying plant, it took time and care, but I’m here. And this time, instead of being ashamed of myself, I have learned to celebrate myself for all that I am and all that I am not.
For most of my life, I’ve been desperate to fit in. I folded myself into the right shape; I edited my mind to wedge myself into the accepted mould. Only to learn that if we have to change ourselves to fit in, we will never truly belong. My quest for belonging went unanswered for so damn long!
All humans want to belong.
To feel a visceral sense of belonging, we must be accepted for all that we are and all that we are not. We don’t need to contort ourselves to fit in. We are enough as we are.
I now feel a belonging in this world and it feels good!
I invite you to show up as yourself
A recent conversation with a friend got me thinking. So many of us are presenting a filtered and edited version of ourselves through the world of social media.
We pretend life isn’t messy, confusing, terrifying, and sometimes glittery. We hide our quirks and what makes us stand out. In our bid to keep loneliness at bay, we present ourselves like a showhome. Showhomes are nice to look at, but could you actually live in one?
We are all just doing our best. But let’s add more honesty and openness into our lives.
If someone asks us how we are, let’s not insult them with that automatic reply, “I’m fine.” Sure, we don’t need to make their ears bleed with our woes, but why not give them an insight into our day? Maybe a recent e-mail about an opportunity has us excited, or perhaps a colleague is frustrating us, or we are worrying about a poorly pet.
Share what makes you human, and others will likely reciprocate. This reciprocation builds connection and unity. A certain kind of magic happens when we are brave enough to be vulnerable.
As Brené Brown says, vulnerability and courage are interlinked.
Who are you?
Many of us were groomed into the desires of our parents. We weren’t asked who we were or who we wanted to be; we were told. There was no room for our souls to develop or our hearts to explore.
As a child, I was drawn to animals and nature. I was a hyperactive dreamer. Luckily my knowing was strong, and I managed to hold my course. But I still carry shame for following my own path and not falling in line with my father’s wishes. This shame is tangled up in a ball in the pit of my stomach—remnants of feeling faulty and wrong whisper through my body.
My roar is speaking over the whispers. This is who I am, I am proud of myself, and I both like and love myself.
Can you do the same?
Can you return to yourself and listen to what you yearn for? And once you befriend your true self, can you introduce her or him to the world for everyone to connect with? Because I guarantee you will be loved for exactly who you are, not who you are trying to be or who you think you “should” be.
Have you experienced a connection from being vulnerable? I’d love to hear your input in the comments.
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You can also find my writings and musings on Medium, where I write about kindness, psychology, social injustice, the nuances of living childfree, friendship, social justice, feminism, personal growth, and much more.
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