Abnormally Normal

Abnormally Normal

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Abnormally Normal
Abnormally Normal
How You Can Stop Being Defensive and Invite More Joy Into Your Life

How You Can Stop Being Defensive and Invite More Joy Into Your Life

Is your defensiveness driving people away and weakening relationships?

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Ali Hall
Mar 22, 2023
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Abnormally Normal
Abnormally Normal
How You Can Stop Being Defensive and Invite More Joy Into Your Life
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man in black crew neck shirt
Photo by Tycho Atsma on Unsplash

When we act defensively, we are in self-preservation mode. If we feel under attack, we defend ourselves by batting away any hostility raining down on us.

But more often than not, people aren’t trying to attack us; it is simply us misinterpreting the intention of their words and allowing our emotions to involve themselves in the conversation.

Those susceptible to being defensive use this behaviour as a coping mechanism. We defend ourselves with defensive behaviour to avoid facing uncomfortable inner feelings.

When we act defensively, we bounce the perceived attack back to the perpetrator in an attempt to redirect it.

But the thing is - when we constantly respond from a place of defensiveness, we will never grow, change or adapt. It’s not much fun for us, and it is exhausting for other people.

Defensive people jeopardise their relationships and remain closed to personal development. 

I spent many years living in a heavy cloak of armor. I didn’t let anyone in,…

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